A Year Ago...

Today's prompt was A Year Ago. The first thing that came to mind was just over a year ago, I attended a motherhood retreat outside of New Orleans. You can see more about my experience here, here and here. I remember when the influencer I loved shared that she was hosting this event, I had this instinctive feeling that I had to attend. I was so grateful that Andrew was supportive and said I should do it. Then when it came time to actually go, I was so nervous. I questioned why I had decided to go on this trip, totally alone. But it turned out to be such a powerful experience. I am so thankful I made that decision and followed my intuition. 

The retreat was so wonderful, geared towards creative professionals and mothers. There was a focus on social media and influencing for business that really spoke to me since that is what I hope to do. The guest speakers were so moving, and I was grateful to have learned from everyone they had come in and speak to us. 

I had been blogging since the industry was brand new, back in 2013. And I always felt a strong pull that it was something I should be doing. That it was my calling and I could be successful in this field. However, the self doubt always held me back. I was always so unsure of myself. That I didn't have the right clothes, right house, couldn't take lavish vacations, etc. And I allowed those fears to hold me back from sharing. But at the retreat I was lucky enough to meet Shelby Clement and something she said to me completely changed my perspective.

I am so grateful that I was sitting next to my friend Shelby Clement at dinner. She had been a speaker that day and is such an amazing person that radiates this positive and magnetic energy. We got to chatting and she asked me about myself and why I was attending, and what I hoped to gain from the experience. I'll never forget this one moment in our conversation. She asked, "Do you want your boys to follow their passions in life?" and I of course said, yes! And she replied, "how can you expect them to follow theirs, if you won't follow yours? I immediately felt tears in my eyes and realized of course, I need to be an example for them. To show them that they can pursue their dreams, and chose the path that brings them the most joy and happiness. 

Returning from the retreat I felt so motivated and energized. I was excited to let go of the fears that had been holding me back, and race towards my dreams. I did a pretty good job for a few months. Sharing consistantly, posting on social media and my blog. However, I did slow down with consistency over the summer when life and work got busy. It took my being laid off in September to jump back into this routine. I question why I let myself get to this point again, and what it is that keeps standing in my way. I am hoping this challenge helps me break through the barriers, ignore the self doubt, and continue chasing my dreams. 

I'm trying to keep Shelby's words close to the forefront, to remember what I left the retreat feeling. I wanted to come home and create that type of community I found outside New Orleans here in Placer County. I love where we live. I love being creative and sharing my life with others. And I would love to find a way to marry the two, and create content and community in this place I love so much. I am still working at it, but I think that retreat and the things I learned one year ago were an important part of my path. I learned a lot about myself, and how it's important to keep going even when imposter syndrome sets in. I think there is a reason I've always felt in my gut that I'm meant to be sharing, so I hope as long as I continue following my intuition, it will lead me to where I am meant to be. 

Thank you for reading. I'm really enjoying this challenge and feel like the exercise is helping move towards my dreams. See you back here tomorrow for Day 24!