Today's prompt was looking back on an old favorite post, and writing a follow up. I thought this was a fun idea. I've written so many posts over the years. I started this blog in 2013! Crazy to think it's been 11 years. Consistency has not been my strength, but there are still hundreds of posts I could have chosen from.
This specific post came to mind right away when I started thinking of what to write for this prompt. I interviewed my Mom for a post in honor of her birthday. I've written so many that I am proud of, but I've thought of this one often. I think that because now I am in such a different stage of life. I wrote this 10 years ago!! Wild how much life has happened since then. And now, as a mother myself, nearing 40, I can relate to what she talks about in the interview and see it with new eyes.
I'd love to ask these same questions again, and see if her answers have changed. She now has 5 grandsons and has traveled so much more, I wonder if a new vacation tops her list? In hindsight, I should have planned better to just re-interview her for today's post. But, for today I think I'll reflect on how I felt when re-reading her answers.
My first thought from reading this, was what a wonderful life. Truly, my Mom has had so many wonderful experiences. People call her "everybody's sweetheart" because she's just so lovely. I had an idyllic childhood, and my Mom (and Dad) were always there for us and providing amazing opportunities and experiences.
30's - having kids. (She would say 30's and 40's if she could pick two). Because you realize once it's over, it's over. There is so much going on when the kids are young.
Since I became a Mom myself, this has frequently popped into my head. But I've thought about this a lot since being laid off. Like I need to really soak in the now, while I'm IN it. It seems like in all areas of my life, I'm realizing how burnt out I was, and that this time is a gift to figure things out.
Since the twins were born, it has been difficult for Andrew and I. Everything felt so hard, we were just constantly in survival mode. Now that the twins have gotten a little older, things do feel a bit easier (obviously still challenging, but like we can breathe). But during those years, I don't feel like I was the type of mother I'd always envisioned myself to be. When Graham was little I didn't feel as overwhelmed and I was able to do tons of art projects, we traveled a lot with him, would go out to restaurants and do things. But with Covid and then having two small babies and a toddler, we receded to being homebodies. This has always been something I've struggled with and carried guilt about.
But in the past month since I haven't been working, I've seen such a difference in my energy and what I'm able to give my family. It feels amazing. I'm not as overwhelmed all the time, I feel like there is time in the day when kids are at school to do the household chores, which means after they're home I can have activities prepared for them, meals prepped, and energy to play! It feels like I have the space to enjoy this time and soak it in as I should be, I'm so thankful for that!
I want to look back on this time of my life and be able to say it was the best years. My focus is to really soak in the sounds (even when overstimulated) of the kids playing well together. Remembering the cute things they say, or the little things that bring them such joy at this age.
Thinking about moving forward with my job search, I want to make sure I prioritize being able to maintain this level of presence as a mother when I go back to work. I do not want to go back to feeling so overwhelmed that it prevents me from being the Mom that I want to be for my boys. It's my number one, most important priority. I want them to look back on their childhood like I do. I want them to feel warm, happy memories of their home. Remembering their parents calm and happy and doing all they could to make their childhood the best it could possibly be.
It was so fun to revisit this post for today's blog post. I definitely want to ask these same questions to my Mom again and see what has changed and what hasn't. I also think I'll interview my Dad, and maybe even Andrew's Mom!
Thanks for reading and I'll see you back here tomorrow for Day 14!
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