Why is it that some of life's most difficult and heartbreaking experiences, are often when we learn important lessons?
In the spring, we lost my cousin's husband after a very brief and courageous battle with cancer. It was all so sudden and heartbreaking. Watching my cousin lose her husband, who was weeks away from becoming a Grandpa for the first time, broke my heart. During his brief battle on chemo and trying to do all they could to fight the cancer in his body, my cousin would do nightly updates for family and friends to read. She would write about the "Steve-isms" - he had so many. She shared that one year when she found out there were on-stage tickets to one of her favorite musicians around their anniversary, that she had called to see what he thought. He replied, "make it happen." It really captured his spirit. She said there were so many "make it happen" moments over the years. This story she shared in particular really struck me. I thought, what an absolutely beautiful way to live life. So often we hold back, or make decisions based on society's standards and "rules" about what we should or shouldn't do. But what if we just did the things that brought us joy and made us feel alive? I truly think "Make it Happen" is the perfect life motto. It feels especially fitting for me right now, and I'm doing all I can to make my dreams happen. To figure out how my next career steps can be something that helps support our family, while also being fulfilling. I'm not sure I've figured it out yet, but I can't tell you how often I've said these words to myself since May.
Steve was just a magnetic person. So fun, vibrant, funny and kind. Growing up, I thought my older cousin was just so cool and when she starting dating Steve I remember thinking they were just the best couple. I wanted to be like them when I grew up. I was so lucky to be close with them and spent quite a bit of time with them when their kids were young, before I moved to San Francisco. I'm so thankful for that period of time, and the memories I have. "Make it happen" does really capture his zest for having fun and living life. I'm so grateful Colleen shared that story and that I can use this as a way to honor him moving forward.
The secondary lesson I've learned this year, through the same experience with my cousin. Is that family is everything. We all have difficult dynamics with people in our family, and it's hard to let go of past hurt. But, we're sometimes reminded that life is so short. And we need to enjoy the time we have with the people we love. I can tell you I've made a much stronger effort with this in the past six months than I had been previously, and for that I am thankful. It has been so good for my heart, my family, and my happiness.
So thank you, Steve. I hate this is how I had to learn these lessons, but I am grateful that it's part of your legacy. As I promised Colleen, I'll spend the rest of my days living by your advice to "Make it Happen" And I will continue to prioritize spending time with family above the rest.
Steve is in the center. This was taken June 2023 at their oldest son's wedding. The group in the photo is my cousin Colleen & Steve's wedding party, 30 years later!
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